People often hope that they can come and be ‘put under’ for an hour while a hypnotist changes them and walk out a different person. This is created by the ‘Stop smoking in an hour’, ‘I can make you slim’ style messages put across by ambitious and egoic ‘hypnotherapists’. It is re-enforced by watching hypnotists on the TV and the stage demonstrating the power of hypnosis to make people believe weird and wonderful things and act in odd ways. Hypnosis does, indeed, have the power to do seemingly magical things – particularly with very suggestible people in front of a crowd willing them to be entertaining. But the stranger the change introduced, the less likely it is to stick. The reality in the world around them wears the suggestion off until the person has come back to normal.
While I understand the attraction of a no-effort quick fix I am concerned that well intentioned but insensitive hypnotherapists reading from a standard script can force further tensions into the client’s unconscious rather than unwinding them. Papering over cracks can provide a superficial fix but if it leaves the deepest tensions unresolved (and now, perhaps, hidden) they are likely to pop up in new and, perhaps, less obvious ways. On a number of occasions I have had needed to pick apart previous ‘healing’ work that has actually obscured the deep structure of someone’s problems.
Rather than trying to slide post-hypnotic suggestions ‘under the radar’ my preferred approach is to use trance in a collaborative way that increases the client’s awareness of how they are creating their problem. As the client’s awareness increases so does their ability to choose new ways of being. This new awareness and empowerment usually means that the symptoms they came with fall away. As, or perhaps even more importantly, it engenders an attitude of curiosity and self-reliance. The next time an issue comes up in life they are not dependent on going back to a hypnotherapist for a ‘top-up’ (topping up with what exactly?); but rather they can bring their own awareness to bare and release the tensions themselves.
Do you always put things off until the last minute or try to avoid doing them at all? Do you have lots of things to do but no motivation to get on and do them? Are you feeling guilty about it or punishing yourself for your laziness?
We put things off because we feel like it. Strong motivation can help us to do the things that we don’t really want to do – to push through barriers and get what we want. This may be successful, we may have used this strategy for years, but it does sound like hard work! Wouldn’t it be better if you could achieve great things without it feeling like a great effort? Or are the only things that are worth having those that you have worked hard for (this is a common limiting belief!)? Is it OK for you to feel happy and satisfied right now?
We will work together to understand exactly how you are not being productive. Rather than pushing through or breaking down your barriers you will learn from and transform them and gain access to what is on the other side. As you realise how you were blocking yourself then the energy that was blocking you becomes available to you to use productively. Getting on with doing becomes natural and fulfilling.
Do you feel unable to find that special someone? Do you consistently seem to attract the ‘wrong’ type of person? Do you find yourself putting on an act when you talk to a potential partner?
It is easy to blame external factors for a lack of suitable partner; the first step is to take responsibility for the situation. Unresolved issues and the beliefs we hold lead us to unconsciously seek out relationships which support or fuel them. In particular we are likely to continually attract relationships that play out aspects of our parents’ relationship. If we do not genuinely love and respect ourselves we send out the message that we are not deserving of these feelings back. When we try to cover up our insecurities we can come across as arrogant or superficial.
Gaining a real understanding of what is important to you will help you to let go of any fears and limiting beliefs and focus on what you really want in a relationship. Realising what is attractive about yourself will help others to see this in you. You can begin to enjoy going out there, meeting new people, being natural, friendly and flirtatious.
Search engine blurb: for help with relationships you could contact a psychotherapist in east london, an nlp practitioner in east london, or a hypnotherapist in east london. NLP is just a label for a set of tools and techniques, many of which use hypnosis approaches to supporting your change. Psychotherpy is the name given to the provision of this support by a qualified psychotherapist.