Stress management

Are the pressures, responsibilities, or expectations at work or home getting to you?  Have you recently experienced a significant life change or stressful life event?  Are you depressed, anxious, or worrying?  Are you unable to cope, plan ahead, or continue in the present situation?

Being stressed is like driving a car with your foot on the brake and the accelerator at the same time.  It’s not only uncomfortable but it saps your energy and actually prevents you from doing as much as you otherwise would. This, in turn, can cause more stress.

My name is Richard. I am an experienced psychotherapist trained to heal the causes of stress. I can work with you to find ways you can relax and produce your best work. When you are ready you can request a free 30 minute consultation, or call me on 020 7377 1918 so we can talk about your unique situation.

If you answered ‘yes’ to many of the above questions then a psychiatrist may diagnose you with generalised anxiety disorder or adjustment disorder.  The rest of us would probably say you are stressed.

What is stress?

The word ‘stress’ comes from the Latin ‘stringere’ meaning to ‘draw tight’.  In engineering a stress is a force acting over an area, causing a body to stretch (or strain).  In biology the stress response is the body’s way of become more ready and adaptable to an external threat or opportunity (eustress).

Psychologically feeling stressed can be regarded as the experience of being at the effect of external factors that are causing an unpleasant and uncontrollable state of being.  Often, from a rational perspective, the external stressors can be seen to be imaginary or exaggerated.   It seems like the stress is caused by the external environment but it is actually an internal tension caused by parts of you pulling in different directions.

Stressful experiences can usually be reduced to a simple conflict of desire and fear.  Examples of stressful internal conflicts include:

  • I want to express myself, but I’m afraid of the consequences
  • I want to give up, but I’m afraid of failing
  • I want to say no but I’m afraid of hurting their feelings
  • I want to leave, but I’m afraid of being lonely
  • I want to decide, but I’m afraid of getting it wrong

Often the core stress structure is so stressful that it is covered up by denial, distractions, or compulsive working.  For example a person could tell themselves that they have no time to be stressed.  Or convince themselves that things will be better at some point in the future … yet that future never seems to come.

How can you help me resolve stress?

According to Eckhart Tolle there are 3 responses to a stressful situation:

  • Completely accept the situation for what it is;
  • Take action to change the situation; or
  • Remove yourself from the situation (preferably completely accepting it first).

Together we can explore the consequences of any or all of Tolle’s responses.  In particular I will work with you to identify how the external circumstances are triggering your internal emotional reactions and, particularly, any internal conflicts.

If we do identify conflicts then NLP parts integration can be a very effective intervention. This technique helps you appreciate the different perspectives of the conflicted parts of your personality and encourage them to see the good in each other.  As they make contact then whatever was holding them apart has to leave the body and you are left feeling more together.  Literally.

Another approach is to simply work with you to relax.  Easier said than done because we have often held the tension for so long that it is just taken for granted.  I will coach you to recognise the places in your body where you are holding the tension and teach you how to choose to relax.  As the relaxation happens then any emotions which were trapped in the tension can release.  This catharsis can leave you feeling clean, relieved, and energised.

As you resolve the tensions that you hold inside of you then the external people and situations that used to cause you stress no longer trigger you.  You are able to choose your responses.  New and exciting possibilities can emerge.

Take action now

Would you like to to become more relaxed and productive?  I work face-to-face in Bethnal Green, East London and online via Skype and Google Talk.  Request a free 30 minute consultation or call me on 020 7377 1918 so we can have a chat.  

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