Bad things happen to good people.
To make it worse, when these bad things are happening, the good person can become convinced that it is actually their fault and that they deserved it because they are a bad person.
That’s fucked up.
And it fucks us up. Some people get more fucked up than others, but most of us are at least a little bit fucked up. That’s normal.
So most of us grow up believing that, deep down inside, we are at least a little bit bad and probably don’t deserve to be happy, healthy, and wealthy.
Who wants to think of themselves like that? Who would want to hang out with us if they realised that we are bad? To avoid self-hatred and loneliness, we do our best to be good.
But that can be really hard work.
And, every now and again, when we are under pressure, we do something bad. And it hurts someone else. And we either feel guilty for what we have done (painful). Or we find a way of blaming the other person for the situation (less painful … for us).
And so the fucked up cycle continues.
Until you decide to change it.
Find a good psychotherapist.